Hoppy-Woppy or the Toad who could fly

Son 1.0 found a toad in the backyard. What could be better than a boy and a frog? Wife 1.0 called me to let me know of the great find and to ask a few questions on animal handling. Being a city girl and not growing up in the rugged wilds of North Dakota, I can see where she would have a lack of experience. So after assuring her that toads do not bite, she was not going to contract warts nor would touching the somewhat moist toad skin cause her, or the children, to have hallucinogenic episodes, she placed the toad in a bucket to ease the transport of the toad about the neighborhood.

The toad was christened Hoppy-Woppy by Son 1.0 and his soon to be three year old sister. Hoppy-Woppy was soon enjoying celebrity status throughout the neighborhood as Son 1.0 encouraged all of the neighborhood children, young and old alike, to touch his toad.

When I arrived home from work I was greeted at the car door by all three of my smiling children and one toad. Hoppy-Woppy was sitting complacently on the floor of a blue plastic bucket with a look on his ( I assume his for artistic license, I have no experience or expertise with how to identify a male or female toad.) little toad face that I assume is toad for “Buddy, I hope you and your whole family get warts.”

Wife 1.0 had informed the children that we are in fact a catch and release household. I think this has much more to do with her reluctance to stumble upon the desiccated remains of a toad in our son’s bedroom rather than any moral reasoning.

Wife 1.0 left for work and I was left with the children and the usual tasks of feeding and bathing them before packing them off to bed. I instructed them to wash their hands after playing with Hoppy-Woppy. Somehow, fish sticks and frog pee just don’t seem like they would be a flavor sensation, so instead of chancing a new culinary delight, it was off to the sink for a little soap and water.

During the course of dinner Son 1.0 was terribly concerned over the fate of Hoppy-Woppy, should he be released into the wilds of the backyard under his own recognizance. I assured him that Hoppy-Woppy would be fine and that toads were much more happy to be roaming free throughout the rugged outlands of suburbia rather than confined to the smooth sided walls of a plastic bucket, soothing blue color or not. There was then a brief discourse on the dietary needs of toads and it was discovered that toads do not in fact eat bees. I had no idea, some things can only be learned from a four year old. Dinner ended and the kids went out back to play with Hoppy-Woppy before the onset of bath time and bedtime.

When I called the children in for bath time, I asked Son 1.0 if he had released Hoppy-Woppy back into nature. He assured me that he had and also informed me that Hoppy-Woppy could fly! This pretty much stopped me in my tracks. Being somewhat astute in the sciences I was almost positive in my recollection of frog dissection from my high school biology class, that toads did not have wings or any other apparatus that may avail in the ability of flight. If fact I was almost positive that I did not see tiny wings protruding from those bumpy little frog shoulders when I was first introduced to Hoppy-Woppy.

Upon further investigation, I was informed that Son 1.0 had thrown Hoppy-Woppy OVER the backyard fence to ensure that he made it out of the yard and on his way into the great wide world. It was at this point, with said toad having been hurled over the fence, that Son 1.0 made the startling discovery that toads can fly!

There were a couple of thoughts that crossed my mind at this point.

My son has a pretty good arm for a four year old. We have a relatively tall fence.

Not bad thinking to get the toad out of the yard, our beagle will eat anything!

Some things can only be learned from the eyes of a child.

I hope Hoppy-Woppy landed without incident. Somehow I think his chance for survival of his flying lesson is far greater than that of living in a blue plastic bucket…